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CHAPTER I.

Love is patient and kind
Love is not jealous or boastful
It is not arrogant or rude
Love insists not on it’s own way
It is not irritable or resentful
It does not rejoice at wrong
But rejoices in the right


Love bears all things
Love believes all things
Love hopes all things
Love endures all things

 

 

“The art of love… is largely the art of persistence.” -- Albert Ellis.

 

 

1v13- he shall lie all night between my breasts.

1. The Song of Songs, which is Solomon’s.
Song of Songs, songs emanating from the depths of the heart. Songs springing forth in loving absorption, loving appreciation from the inmost being; the song of admiration, songs that contain words which promote serious, strong love & unity; that draws couples together, causing them to live in, dwell in, stay in oneness forever. Truly, truly, “the two, saith He, shall be one flesh.

… which is Solomon’s. Wisdom (without which sincere, deep love is absent; without which loving absorption ceases to dwell) is highly needed. Divine wisdom is available for all. Grasp it; listen to it; accept it for it calls unto you. With wisdom, cleverness, skill, you get the ennoblement to judge the best ends, the best means of attaining them (the ends, that is). With prudence (practical wisdom applied in the best time and manner to secure the best ends), a male and a female will be abundantly able to express love to each other powerfully and tangibly without restraints, without barriers. This is possible, as much as the knowledge of HOW TO is easily made available to them, easily laid bare before them.

Solomon, the king had a wisdom that was from God. We need it today and even more. Christ Jesus has been made available to be your wisdom. Accept Him now and walk in this reality! Those that are willing to learn obtain wisdom. Set down your ears to hear and be slow to speak. With wisdom and knowledge (good, tangible, quality knowledge), you will escape from the grip of ignorance; you’ll direct and control your thoughts and words. Your word is your wand. Make good use of it to control your world. Yes, control your world of LOVE. Rule your ‘love world’; be its master and lord. AMEN. AMEN.

You need to be ushered into a realm whereby you love (like never before) your ‘supposedly’ lover. This would even aid you in displaying other kinds of love to others- your neighbors … Love is so strong! Love can be so ‘sweet’!!

2. Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth: for your love is better than wine.
An appreciation of the second person; a desire for him; a feeling of possession, whole, total possession; a yielding of your heart-felt words to him; a desire for a joint sharing with him in all areas of your life. A sharing of opinions, of thoughts, of ideas, of visions and of dreams, of plans… Oh! Of the future…. A sharing of speech and hence, (alas!) yielding to a sharing of their whole lives, their all… This, yes, all these, giving rise to a call for kisses. No doubt, this of course is better than any wine.

Kisses are not to be taken as ordinary. They show commitment, an initiation procedure to THE COVENANT; yes, Marriage Covenant of which

this is a serious vow:
For better or worse, 
For richer or poorer, 
In sickness and in health…

The implication of kisses also connotes speaking with one voice; voices in unity.
Kisses are not ordinary; take them seriously!
For your love is better than wine. Your love is expensive. Your love is highly esteemed. Your love is precious.

In your own world, see his/her love as the best, as the one and only. Gasp in it, feel it, enter into a loving absorption, a deep concentration (as per it). Swim in it, feel its vibrations; think on it, say it and watch out for the tremendous results with keenness and hope and faith. See in your mind’s eye the richness of his love and also look with wonder (in your heart- in your mind’s eye) at its increase! Oh! Bless be the Lord for love!!

The love you can get from each other is better than wine, than earthly things, than money, wealth, richness, fame, pride, self, comfort (for in true love, sharing is comfort; hence, couples can yet be content with the little available before them).

See the love affair as better than life. This affair ought to be at the forefront before any other earthly, physical affair. It is very important. With this in mind, couples will refuse interference that is not convenient. This might come (for example) from friends and relatives. In love, make strong efforts to resolve any differences. Firstly, by you, a third party should come in if the outcome is not as it ought to be. Reasonably, with togetherness, listen to the third party.

3. Because of the savor of your good ointments, your name is as ointment poured forth; therefore do the virgins love you.
As a result of your good, wonderful personality, you are peculiar amongst many. Hence, you are the type for the virgins, for the virtuous, chaste, decent and disciplined. You should be glorious; a person that radiates beauty- beauty in character, behavior, relationship with neighbors. Radiate kindness, goodness, love, joy, peace, happiness, patience, faithfulness, perseverance, and temperance in all things. Put up an always-cheerful attitude. Greet with a smile. It costs nothing but achieves a lot. Though it is short-lived, its memories linger on. BE CHEERFUL, no matter the ‘tediousness’, of the day. BE CALM. Radiate these lights and be sure to receive a warm welcome from her.

Then your name, your person will be enveloped by beauty for you have succeeded in ensuring this. Your name is as ointment poured forth. Yes, the thought of you springs forth joy; sweet memories and a desire to be with you; hence “… the virgins love you.” Oh! How so many people spoil their relationships because of neglect of the above simple principles!

4. Draw me, we will run after you; the king has brought me into his chambers: we will be glad and rejoice in you, we will remember your love more than wine: the upright loves you.
Though the Shulamite girl had been separated from her lover (and she’s now in Solomon’s chambers), her heart was still in her lover. Seeing the effects of what has been said so far (verses 1-3), she could not do without her lover. It applies to spouses today.

True, genuine love being made manifest puts off compromise, unfaithfulness (and their consequences) from relationships. You would not want to disappoint, grieve your lover (for any reason). Marriage is honorable in all, and the bed undefiled (Hebrews 13 verse 4a). This becomes a reality in your relationship. Love causes an expression, a reflection, and a manifestation of that ONENESS! You yearn to be together, always, all the time. There is this bond, this strong cord that links both of you powerfully even beyond the understanding of others. This grows the more you appreciate each other; the more you fill your minds with those sweet memories and remain faithful above ALL ODDS.

5. I am black, but comely, O ye daughters of Jerusalem, as the tents of Kedar, as the curtains of Solomon.
Acknowledge yourself, your spouse as beautiful. See yourself as beautiful, no matter what. Consider your character, the savor of your ointment, your outward looks and see beauty in all. See yourself as up to standard, yes, the standard of your dreams. Get matured into it.

Your outward looks and appearance matters a lot. Don’t take them for granted. Give your body a very good treatment. Maintain a healthy, physically fit shape and be the person your partner desires. Seeing to this will entail exercising and dieting properly.

Always dress for the occasion. Your wardrobe portrays your taste. Be the elegant type. Let your outfit add some sparkles to your looks. In as much as you are careful about the kind of clothes you wear publicly, you also should take cognizance of your in-house clothing. Look attractive even while at home. Dress attractively. Ensure neatness and freshness; make use of deodorants and perfumes. Be welcoming; be cheerful! In some cases, dress romantically.

All these go a long way in determining your day. For instance, your appearance before and after he/she comes from the day’s work would influence the way he/she would relate with you. What you make your lover see matters a lot.

6. Look not upon me, because I am black, because the sun has looked upon me: my mother’s children were angry with me; they made me the keeper of the vineyards; but my own vineyard have I not kept.
A desire to keep your own vineyard. To nurture your sensitive relationship, to make conscious efforts in seeing it grows, becoming stronger and unshakable.

     Ways in which this can be achieved:

1.	Be firm. Let flattery not steal your heart, your dreams, your plans… 
        not only flattery but also outward show, the opportunity to obtain riches and glory.

2.	Value your virtue more than life and in so doing, compromise not for any worldly, ungodly future.

3.	Learn to grow in loving truly from the heart and consecrate to make
        your companion and his children (who are also yours) happy and contented in life.

4.	Maintain a natural and unspoiled disposition regardless of your beauty and charm.

5.	Never take advantage of your natural beauty to further sinful careers.

6.	Live pure and upright in the face of all sweeping temptations and the severest of trials.

KEEP YOUR VINEYARD AND DRESS IT WELL!
…were angry with me. Do not bother. Even if nobody admires you, your spouse really does.

7. Tell me, O thou whom my soul loves, where you feed, where you rest at noon: for why should I be as one that turns aside by the flocks of thy companions?
You ought to be with the person you love- whom your soul loves; and have fellowship with him/her in sharing, in relaxation. You need time to be alone, together. Ensure this! No matter how tight your timetable is, neglect not your spouse. Let there be times and times again where you are alone, together and discussing on issues that emanate form the heart; and gist and joke and have fun.

Long for each other; make new, your vows; increasingly dedicate and commit yourselves to THE INSTITUTION, into which you have been covenanted for life. Through this holy relationship, you’ll be custodians of souls- your children. Your rapport with your spouse will definitely tell on the kind of persons they will be. The home is not to be toiled with; its responsibilities are much. Hence, no man should ‘jump’ into getting married. Be ready for it; concentrate your whole being into it; and success will surely, definitely be yours in Jesus’ name. Amen.

... O thou whom my soul loves... Give no room for hatred, for dislike. Let your soul love him; let your soul love her. Be absorbed; be consumed by love for each other. The knowledge of HOW TO is being made plain before you. Make use of it, diligently without delay.

8. If you know not, O thou fairest among women, go your way forth by the footsteps of the flock, and feed your kids beside the shepherds’ tents.
... O thou fairest among women. As earlier said, see your lady as the most beautiful in your world. Your queen is expected to go her way forth by the footsteps of the flock and feed her/your kids beside the shepherds’ tents.

The flock is the husband’s business. The wife is expected to be in full support of the business, of the means through which daily living is earned. She is available for comfort, advice, financial support and the like. The two of you are now one. What concerns one must also concern the other. The wife ought to be of a great assistance.

... and feed your kids beside the shepherds’ tents. Yes, she is responsible for taking care to the children’s well being, chiefly in the area of their welfare. ... beside the shepherds’ tents - from the produce, the resources from the breadwinner and not in the absence of him. Otherwise, effects of avoidable occurrences like separation, divorce affect the children (who are supposed to be under their custody) adversely. The absence of either spouse results in making the kids devoid of the full fellowship, matching qualities, and savor of good ointment. They need these in order to grow to be thoroughly matured and ready to face the outside world ‘without stress’.

A broken home can be deadly. It deprives children from eating at their father’s table - that table of sweet communion, of brotherhood and of love. A wound is created and though its healing is not an impossible accomplishment, it might take a long time.

Couples should understand love; what it really is; what it’s all about; what it entails to love unconditionally, forgiving ‘70 * 7 times’ daily and as such, give no room for ‘that evil vacuum’.

9. I have compared you, O my love, to a company of horses in Pharaoh’s chariots.
This is in view also of your seeing her as the most beautiful, the most precious, the most costly in your world. She is seen as the one you are totally willing to care for, ‘maintain’, nourish and cherish all your life, ‘eternally’. She is your pride, your joy, your confidence and confidant; a source of inspiration, a powerhouse without whom you would not be who you are today and without whom the person you hope to be tomorrow will not be a total, final reality.

We deduce from the verse above that he sees her as smart, quick-witted, fast- hardworking (and not sluggish) as the horses– the best of horses - a company of horses in Pharaoh’s chariots.

10. Your cheeks are comely with rows of jewels, your neck with chains of gold.
Your cheeks... Cheeks speak out love. They are a tool for love expression, an avenue through which comeliness, cheerfulness, brightness and glory are made manifest. For the beauty of your cheeks, seek for inward beauty. Let the nature of God, the attributes of Him, characteristics of goodness, and attitude of being grateful, thankful, not regretful in all things, at all times consume you. Irrespective of the circumstances, put up a cheerful fragrance and you’ll be sure to see yourself walking in unconditional love.

For your cheeks to be comely, you need to be calm on your inside! Avoid quarreling; avoid trying to be on the right at all times. Humbly, lovingly accept your faults, your mistakes; be quick to reconcile and continue cordially. Be careful for nothing. Why be worried, why think unhealthily? Do these and be sure to see the cheeks, comely with rows of jewels.

... your neck with chains of gold. As with the cheeks, the neck’s by cultivating a good bodily treatment. Also, neck with chains of gold is obtained and maintained by ensuring the above. Avoiding too much stress would help a great deal. This can be stress in your job or business; stress due to worries, which stresses the thinking faculty.... Take time out to always relax your nerves; be calm and thankful at all times.

See (in your mind’s eye) your beloved, as having comely cheeks with rows of jewels, neck with chains of gold- all portraying beauty, charm and sweetness. Love her person, and you will want (in loving desire) to have her body.

11. We will make thee borders of gold with studs of silver.
As a result of your unconditional love, you have been initiated into a realm where you are placed in a position whereby you are ready and willing to do anything for her. You are ready and willing to let her know all the more that she’s expensive, costly, very costly indeed. You are ready to make for her borders of gold with studs of silver. You want to, desire to lavish gold upon her. Gold as of material things; gold as of your love, your person. As a result, you freely yield to her; you are not the type that just usurps authority ‘here and there’. You don’t act as a dictator; rather you create an atmosphere where you rub minds together, lovingly. You relate with her in such a way that she has no other option but to yield to you, submit to you, cravingly giving you her desires. Shower her with your love!

You submit yourself to her. You submit your body selflessly (and vice versa). The wife does not have power over her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband does not have power over his own body, but the wife (see 1Corinthians 7:4). Also, it is written: "Do not deprive one another except with consent for a time... ".

Grow into such a position (put yourself in such a position) where you are able to make borders of gold and studs of silver for her.

12. While the king sits at his table, my spikenard sends forth the smell thereof.
Owing to the loving relationship, even the king feels it. This shows the magnanimity of the love affair. ... my spikenard sends forth the smell thereof. Of a surety, there is a sweet smelling savor, a peculiar fragrance that springs forth acceptable unto God and seen by all. A loving relationship cannot be hidden. People would admire you and sing your praises. Such a relationship (though rare) is a reality. You can have it easily if you believe it’s possible. It can be yours- yes; this rare, precious setting can be yours forever more. Hold it with care. Do not make the mistake of seeing your affair as slim. It is mighty, so mighty. It is a very, very sensitive thing. Come, let’s reason... This involves persons of opposite sex. It involves human beings and not animals. Man is fearfully and wonderfully made. No wonder Jesus, the Master said “... don’t you know that you are gods”? So, that which pertains unto man should not be considered slim. How much more an affair between couples without which the majority cannot normally exist!

Before you is an opportunity to enjoy freely the rich benefits of properly, prayerfully directing your relationship, the affair, your home. Be prudent, and let all things be done unto edifying. Your romantic relationship smears on all other areas of your life whether you are conscious of it or not. BE WARNED.

13. A bundle of myrrh is my well beloved unto me; he shall lie all night between my breasts.
She sees you as her ‘all in all’, as precious and lovely. This shows that your person has succeeded in winning her heart. She is now willing, desiring you to lie all night between her breasts. She wants you to touch her person, her body being the medium- so she gives it to you. Lying between her breasts connotes having sexual intercourse with her. All night portrays a situation of a long period with no disturbance.

Face-to-face love making (or love coupling, if you please) position (with the husband on top) should no doubt be encouraged. ... all night – a realm of love-play all through the night. Prolonged intercourse comes in play here. This can be successfully achieved with practice; when the love is genuine; in a situation where greed, pride, and self-fulfillment are absent.

Have sex loving the other person. I mean make love to her (him/her) solely because you genuinely, deeply love her- her kind of person. Make love to her because you see her beauty (not necessarily physical, bodily beauty). A case whereby he’ makes love’ to her simply because he wants to satisfy his sexual desires will not help the relationship. This is lust. Yes! A man can lust after his wife and vice-versa. In a situation like this, he wants sex not to express his love but to ‘satisfy’ his lust. He is only concerned about himself. Hence (basically) at the end of the day, the love-play is not usually prolonged; the intercourse is not prolonged. Be it prolonged or not, the root of the matter is that she should be satisfied; she should be fulfilled. She should not be a victim of ‘whatever’! Otherwise, a bad seed would be sown and if allowed to grow would contribute greatly (immensely) to tarnishing, (even destroying) the relationship.

...lie all night between my breasts. Seeing yourself doing such a thing (lying all night between her breasts) with her totally yielding shows you have gotten to her ‘heart area’. You have affected her heart; you have touched her heart. The bodily contact simply shows what has taken place in the emotional sphere, in the ‘spiritual’. All night connotes a desire, a willingness to be together for all time.

In intercourse, you touch her. You touch her in a peculiar way. You touch her unlike in any other way, like ‘never before’. You let her have a ‘feel’ of you; a great feel indeed. As the intercourse progresses, a point/stage is reached where both of you ‘lose contact totally’ with the physical (or ‘outside’) world. You lose contact with your surroundings. You become enveloped, inter-twined between yourselves and as such experience a oneness.

... all night. The intercourse can be prolonged- prolonged intercourse. Achieving this requires special techniques. Achieving this takes patience, temperance and self-control most especially on the part of the man (considering the fact that he usually ‘arrives’ first). Intimate cooperation is required on the part of the wife.
Lie between my breasts connotes romance. It can simply be just lying, resting romantically on her.

NB:
Each time a man and a woman have sex {together}; available before them is the wonderful privilege of touching {‘reaching’} each other in ever increasing dimensions. Touching {reaching}, exploring, fellowshipping with... each other in countless, ‘limitless’ ways... This is an opportunity to be closer than ever before. To be intertwined in a great rhythm together; experiencing a realm where consciousness is enlarged! An opportunity to form, to forge an unbroken friendship, a strong cord. This is a good chance to create room for change, progress, and unity and to increase the diverse avenues and blessings that can be realized in a loving, intimate, romantic relationship. It is a time to become ONE. This is when 2 become 1. Seize the moment!

14. My beloved is unto me as a cluster of camphire in the vineyards of En-ge!-di.
“My beloved is precious; very, very precious to me.” Camphire is a small shrub, which grows abundantly in the Engedi district. Be illustrious, be industrious. Be hardworking. Labor seriously with your own hands to yield a large harvest. Be wise; apply prudence in all you do. Have a vision in life, a goal, a mark you would love to attain and work with all diligence towards it. Then, you will be like a cluster of camphire in the vineyards of Engedi, in a very nice and comely ‘world’. Your world (in which your spouse and you are the main ‘essentials’) will be lovely. O! How mightily love thrives in the midst of diligence! “My beloved is very, very precious to me.” Let this be said of you due to your commitment to the relationship. Due to your wealth of knowledge and understanding and how wisely you handle issues - (a cluster of camphire) thereby creating a beautiful world for yourselves - in the vineyards of Engedi.

15. Behold, you are fair, my love; behold, you are fair; you have doves’ eyes.
An appreciation of his/her beauty and voicing it out to him/her helps a great deal. Words have powers. In speaking in a manner as the above verse, you transmute any fear or doubt into faith, into real, strong faith. And so she feels loved, a strong sense of belonging and security in/with you. You give her confidence in ‘beginning and continuing’ in you. She is now placed in a realm whereby she relies on you and confides in you. This is because she sees your love, concern and appreciation. She puts her trust in you. She wants/longs to be with you and rejoices at your presence.

Confessing to her your feelings, your thoughts about her would help to awaken and increase that strong love for her. The door of love is now opened AND ANYTHING GOOD CAN HAPPEN! Your hands are outstretched to her and she runs into them for shelter.

... you have doves’ eyes. You see her countenance as bright and comely. You see her as plain, innocent, gentle and lovely. A calmness radiates through her always, all-day. No doubt she’s beautiful! Beauty surrounds her- her speech, her outlook, her attitudes. Her intuition is sharp. She can see ahead. She easily interprets situations, scenarios, events, occurrences.... She is full of compassion. She is ‘soft’ and easily given to pity. Yes! She has doves’ eyes.

16. Behold, you are fair, my beloved, yes, pleasant: also our bed is green.
Behold... Speaking deeply, from your inside. It connotes a state of being overwhelmed by her beauty in all ramifications- her character (behavior), instincts, virtue, wisdom, knowledge and understanding, brightness (brilliance, intelligence), savor and her physical body form (appearance).

You are fair, my beloved, yes, pleasant. This is a resounding affirmation of the previous verse. Make it strongly impressed in her that you mean whatever you’re saying. Let it be seen in your words and actions. If you are presently failing in some areas or lagging behind, never give up. Persistently learn and ‘push’ forward. Learn from your mistakes. Be ready to make amends, having a sincere heart to please, to satisfy your love (i.e. your lover). Sincerely, you’ll come to see that the joy of having a partner knows no bounds.

... also our bed is green. As said earlier, marriage is honorable and the bed should be undefiled. Adultery, fornication and any other form of sexual immorality cannot thrive amongst couples that live in, bask in true divine, sincere love. Love that is unwavering, unfading, undiminishing. Love that stands the test of time.

Practice the true principles of ensuring a long-lasting, ‘eternal’ relationship (such as is being talked about here- in this piece of work). True love expressed by both parties (not one alone) will yield a green bed.

Our bed is green. This connotes richness- our bed is rich. Our bed is peaceful. Selfishness, greed, hatred, jealousy, malice, pride, oppression, cheating, disagreement, disunity, ‘two-ness’ (‘twain’) instead of oneness do not dwell here. We do not deprive ourselves of our bodies; nothing like self-satisfaction exists in our world. This is true for we love each other.

He seeks for my joy and fulfillment (not his). I desire his joy and fulfillment (not mine). At the end of it all, we are both satisfied and fulfilled (not only in the area of sex or love making (love coupling) but also in other areas of our lives, of our relationship).

Our bed is green. Couples in this realm enjoy lovemaking. They experience oneness deeply in the process of uniting their bodies. They are fulfilled and satisfied. This is possible because each seeks the gain, the benefit, the welfare and the well being of the other. All about sex - foreplay, the act itself, after-play... are carried out selflessly. Thus, they end up being more united (in heart and soul). Their love reaching beyond the former limits, growing even beyond their imaginations.... The oneness being experienced stimulates, promotes these things. It causes them to be! A good, great relationship becomes a reality. NOT only in bed, but also OUT of bed. Every area, all spheres of their lives are touched, influenced and made better.

Our bed is green connotes a state of maturity. They are matured. (This maturity is not known or seen only in bed but also outside the bedroom). A lively sex life promotes love. Love breeds maturity. The relationship is bound with an unbroken cord.

17. The beams of our house are cedar, our rafters of fir.
The love between us is very, very strong. It is well sheltered. It is priceless- in so much so that a third party cannot infiltrate. You are mine; I am yours- forever.

Our house, our love is very well fortified. We have sacrificed so much to make it so. We have spent a lot (it costed us a lot) to make it the way it is today. We cannot let it go. We should not regard it as ‘not too significant’. It is indeed ‘weighty’. It is indeed heavy. By virtue of God-given abilities, we have worked tirelessly to secure it. It is ours; it is not ‘theirs’. They don’t know what we see in it. It is precious; it is priceless. It is so dear to our souls. Amen. Amen.

Yes, we are sheltered in it. We see beauty in it for our house is beautiful, our rafters of fir.

 

 

LOVE IS GENUINE.

 

 

+++
Primeval sex was divine
Modern sex is blind
Disease, pain and death
Family life becomes a threat
AIDS syphilis gonorrhea
Most people don’t seem to care
Pain a stimulant of the mind
Death the accomplishment of being blind

 

Sex, a beginning in the abyss of time
Lightening bolted from the rod of pleasure
Shaking the doors to open the pyre of the mind
Giving birth to a soul that’s divine

- Trevor J.B. Simmons
+++

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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