… whom my soul loves -- an account where the love is from the depths. This is no lust or love-lust. This is pure, genuine, undeterred love; so strong enough that she sees herself totally, unreservedly yielding her all to him. She invariably says: “I commit myself to you   -> ‘master’ me”.

The love is from her soul. It is heart-felt; it has no pretence. It is of a surety, one that seeks/desires to give and does GIVE. When it receives, it receives because it desires to satisfy, (with much contentment) the giver. And of course, it gives to receive; it receives to give. It is not selfish. No, it is not proud and unruly. It is patient – for even after seeking and seemingly not finding (him), does not give up in discouragement.

She desires him to eat of her garden – to partake of her fruit – specially reserved, kept for him. She says earnestly, make love to me!

2. I will rise now and go about the city in the streets, and in the broad ways I will seek him whom my soul loves: I sought him but I found him not.
With her desires not yet met, she makes progress, never losing faith, never giving up. She makes progress to find her man! She is determined above all odds to get him. She takes her time. Yes, her precious time -> having with her self-control, maturity and wits lest she falls into wrong hands. For this business is like a once in a lifetime issue. Any mistake or error can taint her entire life.

… I will seek him whom my soul loves. If you rightly seek, you shall surely find. Having the person you desire, one that is really yours is very important. There is a strong affirmation in her tone. She believes nothing can hinder her most cherished dream(s). Also, note that he must be someone who she totally loves. For when the soul loves, it’s really from the heart.

You must understand yourself enough to such an extent that you are able to fully decipher whether you are in love or not. Never mistake ‘love feelings’ for love. Draw a clear line between infatuation and love. Take your time; study yourself, study your feelings. Understand yourself and master the concept of the one you love. Don’t be in a hurry.

Alas! Upon all her skills, her efforts, her maturity, her virtues, she found him not. Yet she’s not discouraged. Patience is her portion. This is love.

3. The watchmen that go about the city found me: to whom I said, “Have you seen him whom my soul loves?”
She says to herself: “I truly love him, I desire him strongly; I don’t want to lose him”. A craving drives her to seek for directives of his whereabouts. She asks questions. She avails herself to seminars, books, and information on dating, love, sex, romance, and marriage; how to ‘find him’; how to ‘keep him’ and related issues. She’s determined to learn, to make progress. She does not put up an ‘I don’t care’ attitude. She is not shy about such matters. She simply wants him whom her soul loves.

4. Scarcely had I passed them, when I found him whom my soul loves: I held him, and would not let him go, until I had brought him into my mother’s house, and into the chamber of her that conceived me.
Soon, she finds him. It is soon, no matter how long for the joy of having found him drains it [i.e. the longevity] off. Also, as the saying goes “it is better to be late than being the late”. She holds him dearly, firmly, and would not let him go. A wise woman will put off pride, sophistication and be plain and simple before her man. She is herself -> her real self before him. Wisely utilizing her subtleness, she is so persuasive and self-giving that he is immersed in the union of joy with her. He becomes joined to her. He is initiated into her world -- … brought him into my mother’s house, and into the chamber of her that conceived me. She says to him: “come and see the inner, hidden secrets of womanhood; come drink of my lovely juices. Come understand me and eat of me.” Yes, she gains roots in him, influencing him to such an extent that he ‘cannot do without her’. They enter into the process of becoming one. She takes him into that bedroom and the 2 become 1…

5. I charge you, O you daughters of Jerusalem, by the roes (gazelles) and by the hinds of the field, that you stir not up, nor awake my love, till he please.
What a skilful woman. Her wits are strong and … she knows fully well the how of dealing with side attractions -> other women that are capable of entering his life and jeopardizing the fellowship. She does it with wisdom, with maturity. She is not a nagger. Rather, she talks the way of peace, sweet peace.

She secures her man by a special method so rarely used. She radiates the way of peace (through her lifestyle) by charging the daughters of Jerusalem by the roes (or gazelles) and by the hinds of the field not to stir nor awake her love. She influences them with her prowess, she instills in them, caution. She broods over her loved one; she broods over her family and gives no room for interference.

She is so strong (for the charge is by the roe and hinds) that she speaks even through her spouse to these infiltrators. Her grip is strong, firm upon him. All is well with them (the lovers, that is). She is like the virtuous woman of Proverbs 31. She plays her (model) role so well that he (her lover) cannot, will not, look elsewhere.

6. Who is this that comes out of the wilderness like pillars of smoke, perfumed with myrrh and frankincense, with all powders of the merchant?
From here, it is vivid that men appreciate and cherish ladies that are (maturely) perfumed. Perfume prepares you for a wonderful dance. Such a sweet smelling fragrance denoted by myrrh, frankincense, and powders gives a lady an aura of beauty. This ‘casts shadows of beauty’ on the male. He sees her as wonderful. Not only her person – as of her character, her nature but also her body, her presence. And hence, he tends to wonder: who is this... He perceives she’s lonely (out of the wilderness). He desires to ‘grab’ her -- he is overtaken! Like pillars of smoke connotes ‘strangeness’, peculiarity, glory. She is seen as peculiar, one of a kind. He looks at her with wonder – who is this…

Your outward appearance matters much. Perfumes are not evil. Always smell fine; always smell great. Keep yourself neat. Let him look forward to being around you. Neglect not your body saying: “it doesn’t matter” – irrespective of how long (or old) your relationship is. You all the more need to carefully present your body as though the relationship is as it were, a day old.

Always see something new in your relationship – in every aspect: social, spiritual, sexual, etc. A stagnant outlook breeds boredom. Induce Newness by inculcating diverse strategies of capturing his attention.

7 - 8. Behold his bed, which is Solomon’s; sixty valiant men are about it, of the valiant of Israel. They all hold swords, being skilled in war: every man has his sword upon his thigh because of fear in the night.
The extent of the importance of ‘the bed’ is portrayed here. He will do anything to ‘safeguard’ it. The virtuous husband will not toy with it for marriage is honorable and the bed should be undefiled. No interferer is allowed. Any intruder is ‘killed’. It (the bed, that is) is for them only – he and she (his jewel). He ensures no infiltration.

Yes, at night (-- the hour when ‘it’ usually happens), there is much scrutiny and much security. He holds her by his person; he organizes his home by his power in so much so that ALL IS SAFE. Adulterers do not know the way to ‘the bed’.

9 – 10. King Solomon made himself a bed of the wood of Lebanon. He made the pillars thereof of silver, the bottom thereof of gold, the covering of it of purple, the midst thereof being paved with love, for the daughters of Jerusalem.
We learn here that sex in itself is costly – expensive. At the same time, most cherished. It must not be abused. Its instigator must be love, not lust (yes, lust can exist even among the married). Sex, by virtue of lust (let’s call is lust-sex) does not work for the overall benefit of the relationship. Such a sexual dimension does not last.

Also, couples that truly love do not crave to share the blessed encounter with an outsider – a third party (one outside the wedlock is an outsider). They adore the sacred experience between themselves only. It is necessary that the bed be undefiled. Not simply because it is a moral thing to do rather (or more so) because of the full attainment of a blissful union. Within the confines of undefilement, trust, love, openness, confidence, total yielding, sincerity, faith, desire, etc blossom and flourish! True love must flow to ensure undefilement, to bar off unfaithfulness. Both must feel satisfied. Non should feel cheated.

Verse 10 even lets us appreciate the importance of the environment where ‘the act’ takes place. It must be appealing to both parties. Otherwise, ‘the unimpressed’ might fail to ‘perform’. It must be lovely; it must be rosy (at least in the eyes of U 2). How ‘the act’ is done is vital too. Always remember: nobody, nobody has the legal right (spiritually speaking) to dictate to you what to do, what not to do (rules and regulations) with your spouse. The Law is: whatever is done should be done out of love and consent and nobody (the male, the female) gets ‘hurt, hurt’ - badly hurt as opposed to sweet pain.

Let your room be neat and beautiful. It should contain things that you know would stimulate you two– decorations, appealing aroma, right lighting, etc. A successful intercourse, most times needs ‘accessories’.

11. Go forth, O you daughters of Zion, and behold King Solomon with the crown wherewith his mother crowned him in the day of his espousals, and in the day of the gladness of his heart.
By virtue of his greatness, his strong power of love, his manly role, his uncommon wits with which he secures his love, WOMANHOOD is called upon to behold him. Much honor, much respect is showered on him that has come of age in terms of love.

His mother crowned him. Your mom has a role to play in your future love life. If you have a virtuous mother, you stand a privileged chance. Her personality, her disposition (of a surety) has a psychological effect on you. The sum-total of her affects, influences your outlook on women. So mothers, help your sons! Be well behaved.

King Solomon had a wonderful mother. She contributed chiefly to gladdening his heart.