“Casual sex seems, in my judgement, to reduce something very special and sacred to a common and ordinary means of personal pleasure.”   –  Joseph M. Champlin.

And we can hear the encouragement of others speaking with one voice, crying YES to the wonderful affair, saying: eat, O friends; drink, yea, drink abundantly, O lovers. And guess what! Such couples are so full of love, they preach love to others, they desire to spread their beautiful aura of intimate, romantic, unconditional love to others. They desire other couples to enjoy that which they do enjoy. Everybody is entitled to this gold!

2. I sleep, but my heart wakes: it is the voice of my beloved that knocks, saying, Open to me, my sister, my love, my dove, my undefiled: for my head is filled with dew, my locks with the drops of the night.
Before us is a virtuous woman. A woman of substance. She’s so close at heart to her man that unless he’s near, she’s not at peace. She loves him unconditionally. He comes to her. He speaks (respectfully); knocking at the door of her heart, saying: Open to me, yield totally, unreservedly to me, share with me the depths of your heart, my one and only, my undefiled. For I have been lonely and tired. I need a home ’badly’, an atmosphere where definitely, I’ll feel at home. Where I’ll feel refreshed, cherished, loved and cared for. Open up; let me come in for I trust you’ll do.

Would she respond to his call? A great challenge is before her. What would she do? And as we would see further down, she responds to his call. He goes in. They have a home – an atmosphere of peace, a relationship whose aura of love and unity (cooperation, understanding) is so strong, and real -- all the odds not withstanding. Everything happens to satisfy all their tastes. Love flows for the good of them.

3. I have put off my coat; how could I put it on? I have washed my feet, how could I soil them?
She ponders on what to do, on how to act in order to please her beloved. She must act, and very wisely indeed. Firstly, she mustn’t be in a hurry, lest she falters. Also, she mustn’t delay unnecessarily, lest he gets hurt (and she also in the long run), lest she creates room for the little foxes! Lest she may lose him. She must need respond and this, timely.

I have put off my garment (coat); I have washed my feet. There seem to be hindrances in her way. However, love knows no hindrances. In short, love sees hindrances as friendly and obstacles, as stepping-stones… She has to act…

Be patient with your husband (lover). He might be slow in loving, in caring, in showing interest in the home. Please, communicate with him. However, exercise patience. Be considerate. Consideration promotes character. Put on your coat; go as far as soiling your feet (for him). Have a mind that is even ready to suffer for his sake. Truly, you’ll be greatly rewarded. You’ll win him over. Genuine harmony would develop. God would surely cause your harmony with him to shine!

4. My beloved put his hand by the hole of the door, and my bowels were moved for him.
He is not giving up so easily. He desires to be with her. He is determined to get help from her, to learn from her. He needs her assistance, her help for she needs to open the door for him to come in. She’s gat to surrender herself, to avail herself, her talents, and her abilities for the total, complete perfect unity of their relationship. Yes, for a sweet and wonderful union.

… and my bowels were moved for him. This shows the extent of her love for her man. It demonstrates how great and strong a love she has for him. She has strong feelings for him. Is such a virtuous, loving, understanding lady available today? Her bowels were moved for him. She is willing to, in a sense, place her heart, her most sensitive parts, her most secret, sacred, private things, issues in his hands. She hungers, yearns, and desires to (as it were), place her life in his hands (in a sense).

5. I rose up to open to my beloved; and my hands with myrrh, and my fingers with sweet smelling myrrh, upon the handles of the lock.
Alas! She arises to her task. She awakes to her responsibility. She is about to play a most crucial role. She is going to attend to him. She moves on to open up to him, with beauty all over her. She is well perfumed for she wants/desires to look attractive and elegant before him. She is the kind of person that has developed herself to creating a sweet atmosphere for herself and her lover (husband, as the case may be). There is such a peculiarity (always) in her presence. She is beautiful. The aroma around her is full of maturity – yes, great maturity in which is a richness of self-control. Such a woman is most desirable.

6. I open to my beloved; but my beloved had withdrawn himself and was gone: my soul failed when he spoke: I sought him, but I could not find him; I called him, but he gave me no answer.
We have an insight into the ‘kind of person’ a man is. He perseveres, he presses on, and expects his spouse to change, to make amends, to make up for the areas in which she’s lacking or falling short. If she not serious, not quick to act (at the right time and conditions), there is a strong tendency that he might go away – to look for solace elsewhere.

Hence, husbands that are failing to concentrate solely (fully) on their wives should not be totally blamed. Most probably, the wives are failing in some respects. And it might be one of the ‘little’ things she neglects like her outward appearance and the kind of atmosphere she creates.

Do not be slow to open up before your beloved. Learn to pour out your heart before him. Tell him frankly with respect about how you feel concerning ‘the matter’ (i.e. any issue before the two of you). Is it to admit – “I was wrong”? Quickly do so. Is it to say – “I am sorry”? Don’t delay. Stretch out your arms to him in love and entrap him between your breasts. Surely, he’ll never find his way out! He’ll never look elsewhere, no matter what.

N.B: The above verse (verse 6) can also connote a situation where he is trying to play a ‘hide & seek’ game. Be patient; consider him being funny! Enjoy the game.

7. The watchmen that went about the city found me, they smote me, they wounded me; the keeper of the walls took away my veil from me.
She loves him dearly. She goes about the city searching for him. She takes great risks, she ventures into the unknown. Truly, to become a genius, one must venture into the unknown – boldly. She suffers for want of him. She receives insults, despise, even rejection and disgrace all because of him. Is she discouraged? NEVER!

8. I charge you, O daughters of Jerusalem, if you find my beloved, that you tell him, that I am sick of love.
Is such a woman rare? Anyway, let’s go on!

She adores him wisely. She withstands all odds in a bid to finding him. She goes as far as telling her mates, her friends, womanhood, making her affections, her desires plain – for she is in love.

Learn to discover the one with whom you go out. Are you dating, courting or in a marriage relationship already? Understanding who your partner really is, is very important. It will help your heart and actions towards him a great deal. It will bring joy to your fellowship. It’s going to facilitate your basking in a wonderful union of joy! And that, in every way: sexually speaking, non-sexually speaking.

Baby, don’t just throw yourself into the arms of a guy because you are in love, or because you ‘think’ you are in love. Study him, relate with him on issues that matters – spirituality, love, sex, education, career, ambitions, politics, outlook on life, family and the like. Give it some time… Imbibe maturity – a great deal of self-control and by the way, don’t cause troubles to yourself because in the name of ‘touch’. Give it some time. Don’t be in a hurry to touch! Some touches – kissing, necking, petting, etc tend to spoil love when indulged in (and this definitely at the wrong stage of the relationship or would-be, could-be relationship). So, don’t spoil your love. Never welcome any move that would bring hurt to your soul in a short while – yes, sorrow that might even ruin your relationship. And who knows? This sorrow may take long to heal. Be careful. All the best.

9. What is your beloved more than another beloved, O thou fairest among women? What is your beloved more than another beloved, that you thus so charge us?
She expresses her love for him and utter praises and adoration of him in so much so that other people wonder and question for they wish to know him. You can make others ‘jealous’ of your fellowship/relationship with your spouse or spouse-to-be by your conducts, by your utterances. The daughters of Jerusalem are compelled to ask: What is your beloved more than another beloved, O thou fairest among women? What is your beloved more than another beloved, that you thus so charge us?

10. My beloved is white and ruddy, the chiefest among ten thousand.
Wow! How she highly esteems him. She considers him as white. There is (in her mind’s eye) a kind of radiance, beauty and glory as touching her lover. She sees him as ruddy – as healthy for in his character, there is health. He is rich in knowledge, in matters of this life and godliness; in issues concerning love, sex, relationships, family, home keeping and the like. His attributes are well desired, matching hers. A man of love, one who is temperate, considerate, caring, matured in ‘‘love-expressions’’. He is kind and understanding. He comes down to the level of his beloved and relates with her accordingly. She sees him totally as healthy – as ruddy.

The ability to stimulate, promote, protect and keep love is firstly and chiefly found in the mind. It’s gat to do with one’s character, behavior, and attributes (and all that pertains to his/her lifestyle).

… the chiefest among ten thousand. She sees him as a king, a general. He stands tall before his peers. (At least as far as she is concerned. After all, what matters here? It’s her world, people!). He is like a man that is anointed with the oil of gladness above his fellows.

He is most adored, greatly cherished and fully appreciated. There is no other like him. In her world, she sees only one man – him. She is consumed by him. He ravishes her with his love. To her, he is a mountain. She rests in him; he ravishes her; there is great, "sweet heat". They are immersed, enraptured together in beautiful volcanic eruptions of love and of great orgasmic pleasure (when it applies, wherever it applies).

11 – 16.
(11) His head is as the most fine gold; his locks are bushy, black as a raven:
(12) his eyes are as the eyes of doves by the rivers of waters, washed with milk, and fitly set:
(13) his cheeks are as a bed of spices, as sweet flowers: his lips like lilies, dropping sweet smelling myrrh:
(14) his hands are as gold rings set with the beryl: his belly is as bright ivory overlaid with sapphires:
(15) his legs are as pillars of marble, set upon sockets of fine gold: his countenance is as Lebanon, excellent as the cedars:
(16) his mouth is most sweet: yes, he is altogether lovely. This is my beloved, and this is my friend, O daughters of Jerusalem.

She was interrogated as touching who her beloved really is. Without hesitating, she poured forth her heart! What do you even expect? Yeah, she is sick of love. She adores him from the crown of his head to the sole of his feet. All, I reiterate, ALL about him, she sees as ‘holy’, comely, thus desirable.

She sings his praises not his shortcomings. She lifts him high, esteeming him even beyond measure. Yes, she’s lost and kept tightly in the realm called LOVE!

His head is as gold for he is reasonable, considerate, understanding, cooperative and humble (he is so quick to saying: "I’m sorry darling"). He is an intelligent fellow. His locks are bushy… connoting the accessories that follow the aforementioned attributes (as touching his head). He is not just having these qualities in tiny bits and pieces but he has them to a large, magnificent extent, and growing (improving).

His eyes are beautiful, clean and clear. He sees ahead, he understands the handwriting on the wall. He is the kind of man that has foresight. He has profound vision and he’s apt to causing to be, its manifestations (actualization of vision). His visionary goes beyond the natural. He’s got spiritual vision!

He is quick at discerning any evil, any little foxes that is trying to ruin the relationship. His eyes are sharp!

His cheeks are lovely – the aura that goes with it sends messages of love, friendship, and ah-ah welcome! They portray in their own little way, the sweetness of the relationship. How happy the cheeks are before the bride!

His lips? Oh! Beautiful. They move gently, spreading a sweet smelling fragrance of love – saying to the beloved: “we need you, we are happy to relate with you – to help pass profound heart-felt desires across to you smoothly ” and also “we are more than capable of sailing – gliding gorgeously over lips and teeth!” He is never bereft of comely speeches because he is a man of good words, of matured ideas and imaginations (having awesome ‘nations of images’). His lips are much to be admired – for they are dropping sweet smelling myrrh.

What a virtuous MAN? Is such a person available in this day and age? Anything he lays his hands on prospers. He works with his own hands, earning himself a living – and much more: for his bride, his family as well. He is capable of maintaining a home. He can support a family without stress, without duress. He is illustrious and industrious. He is worth imitating. No wonder, his hands are as gold rings set with the beryl. He does not involve himself in anything bad or evil. He will not embrace ills that reduce the wonderful glow of relationships. He is the man!

His belly? Many things to learn here! He is not greedy, stingy or selfish. He seeks for the satisfaction of his woman – he is self-giving. He takes pleasure in giving and receiving in thanksgiving (thanksgiving to her). His belly is thus seen and described as beautiful, to be overlaid with sapphires. He is lovely; his attributes – behavior, etc are such that puts a craving in his "rose of Sharon" to always want to be with him. They have to be together, undisturbed – living in a cool atmosphere not under stress, tension or duress for sapphire is a ‘wonderful blue’.

He has gained his footing. He is independent as of being able to cater for himself. He is matured – in reasoning, resolving issues, forgiving, reconciling, listening and accepting. He is not ‘the lord’ but a ‘fellow lord’ of the family. He is not easily moved even if his bride is misbehaving, not measuring up to standard… He is patient and kind, slow to anger and full of constant, consistent, unconditional love. He is supportive – financially, emotionally. He is smart and quick to act wittingly for his family’s good.

Yes, his legs are as pillars of marble. …set upon sockets of fine gold. He has a very good foundation. No matter the storms of life, he stands secure. He is amply available to ensure her security, to crown her life. For he is well built, matured as touching spiritual matters, temperate and considerate in love-expressions and in all things.

As for his countenance, it is as Lebanon, excellent as the cedars. His smiles, though short-lived, linger on in her memory. He is always cheerful for he has found the formula, the technology of a sound mind and great peace. His office [job] stress notwithstanding, family needs no matter how burdensome, he has learnt to show forth an air of calmness. He does not want to spoil the freshness of their togetherness, the comfort in “each other’s arms”; the soothing her heart enjoys. He always presents himself ‘presentable’, at least before her (for love covers a multitude of distractions).

His mouth is most sweet for he has mastered the art of teasing the one he loves. He’s funny. His jokes give one a sense of belonging. He is the father of advises. Comfort is his sister; encouragement, his brother. He has patiently taken out time to understand her – what turns her on, what puts her off… And trust him! He doesn’t dabble into things that put her off or turn her off. He is a good planner. In short, he is altogether lovely!

What a proclamation to be said about someone! I must receive such!! She goes on… He is beloved; he is also seen as a friend, a very dear friend. What closeness!