he finds, discovers her.

Marriage is honorable in all, and the bed undefiled but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge. (Hebrews 13:4)

“He finds, discovers her.” When the sexual act is well performed, a stage comes when the woman is ‘discovered’. The husband at this stage should be very careful (watchful and sensitive) to really, actually grasp her – not physically but as of getting hold of her, as of inputting into memory, into his subconscious, deeply into his mind the wonderful ‘light’ and essence he has caused to manifest. Then, he’ll realize that sex is far more than a physical thing/act. It is spiritual; the physical is just a path/way to it. The importance of sexual intercourse (with all its ‘accessories’) in marriage cannot be overemphasized.

The above can be achieved. It is a possibility. Prolonged intercourse should be encouraged. It helps. Discovering your wife helps you to love her deeply, respect her person and understand and acknowledge the fact that the TWO of you are indeed ONE. [1+1 =1], “the two, saith He shall be one” (Matthew 19:5,6).

The wife in return then develops a strong love, and respect for her husband. She feels a strong sense of belonging. She feels fulfilled, loved and cared for. Consciously, or unconsciously, the couples are attracted to each other all the more (it’s like they are just knowing each other; as if they are in their pleasurable days of courtship; as if they are newly-weds; as if, and much more…). “He finds, discovers her.” Also, “she finds, discovers him.”

The wife consciously or unconsciously, knowingly or unknowingly walks in submission to her husband while the husband on the other hand handles authority wisely, properly, adequately, substantially, reasonably over his household. He is accountable to them. It is important to not that for a wonderful and great ‘till death do us part’ relationship, the couple should have a sound knowledge of God’s ideals and principles believing and trusting Him to see them through.

After discovering your wife, ‘get hold of her’, ‘eat her up’, ‘consume her’, and ‘let her be part and parcel of your being’- more and more. A good sexual relationship breeds a ‘tight’- "closely knitted and wonderful" fellowship between the spouses – this extends to their children and even the world at large, for we all as humans are as it were, in a web, connected together. For it is written, "in Him (God) we live, in Him we move, in Him we have our being".

How did he discover her? Much patience is needed. Sex is not a thing to be done in a hurry. Firstly, the couples must be sexually arouse – a good deal of foreplay comes in here. Foreplay comes from an attitude of love and admiration. Usually, the man makes the first move. Usually, he takes the lead. The woman can do the same also, for they are one. His caressing her, kissing her, fondling her, touching her all over sends a strong message to her – that she is loved, admired, is a great treasure and cared for. This results in her yielding to him totally, desiring to be ‘handled’ by him.

It should be noted that her total yielding without any grudge, compromise and without that feeling/desire of not wanting to be active in her own way usually comes from a genuine, nice and great relationship. Firstly, she knows that she is loved and highly respected long before any bodily contact. I Peter 3v7 says, “Likewise, you husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge (i.e. with intelligence) giving honor unto the wife, … and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.” Amen! Alleluia!! No matter what, the wife deserves honor. She needs to be treated as a fellow servant of the Lord Jesus Christ.

Husbands, being heads of their homes should love their wives and give their all to them. The man should not arbitrarily usurp power and authority over his wife. He should not abuse his privileged position. A major challenge before him is to walk in purpose-oriented love – love for the common good. He must shun selfishness, greed, or tyranny. Understanding and love should be brought to the fore. Love brings togetherness, unity and peace. A man should relate with his wife with an attitude of humility, love and respect. In the same vein, the wife should relate with her husband with an attitude of humility, love and respect…