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Making up your mind to have sex? Are you matured, civilized, then consider these key questions "to ask yourself" before engaging yourself!

  1. Do I really, truly love this person?
  2.  Does he/she really, truly love me?
  3. Am I willingly – freely, without any undue pressure, consenting?
  4. Is he/she  willingly – freely, without any undue pressure, consenting?
  5. Is this the right time?

"No" to any of the above? If yes, then "NO TO SEX!"

we wish u well…



Arousal, Trigger Points, and The Sex Urge.

Between all levels or all discrete levels of arousal, there exists a (the) “trigger point”.  And there are different types of trigger points.  Each trigger point (tp) takes the individual from one level to another.  The new level may be a higher level.  A higher level connotes a closer proximity to the actualization of “oneness” between both couples.  The actualization of oneness is (or could be) a manifestation of “eternal oneness” (or supposedly eternal oneness – quasi-eternal oneness) in many different ways; most of which are subliminal.  This oneness is sublime.  Its manifestation is seen, experienced and/or observed psychically, emotionally, sacredly and somewhat divinely [at least quasi-divinely].

A tp is expressed almost involuntarily.  It is fuelled by the conscious or subconscious urge for “more”.  The acceptance or allowance of a tp has a direct impact on the resistance levels of both parties.  This impact is always greater on the tp source-subject, tpss – the individual from whom it originated.

The acceptance reduces the resistance.  The power or will to say, “no” dies.  This will power continuously weakens as the occurrence of tps increases.  The acceptance of a tp by its human originator (tp source-subject, tpss) instantaneously places a request before the other couple – the one to whom love, romance, desire, pleasure… is [being] given.  The request says, “sweetheart, please acknowledge my tp’s effects – the effects my tp is having on me.  The effect(s) is/constitutes beauty, sweetness, ecstasy, etc and I am passing them/sharing them with you.”  The request may very well be, “I am burning with lust and I strongly desire that you satisfy my selfish or self-giving lust!”

The expression of a tp (by its tpss) reveals an increased and a renewed presence of the “sex urge”.  Inherent in the acknowledgement of a tp’s effects (i.e. the acknowledgement by the other couple – the final or destined recipient, fr of the tp’s effects which came from the tpss) is the propensity to activate and yield a (new) tp in the final recipient, fr – the second party.  These transactions occur in quick time.  They can occur so quickly but slowly sometimes.

Taking this new tp into consideration, the second party then becomes the [new] tpss and the initial tpss then becomes the new, final, destined recipient, fr.  And a cycle is bound to be birthed – a continuous cycle which will or should culminate in the ecstatic dance of orgasmic pleasure – a wallowing in the fullness of experiential quasi-eternal-oneness.  “The two is made one.”  Consequently, the expression of less aggressive tps may possibly occur during what some have termed [1]“the after-play”.

The ability of an individual to exercise control or restraint is greatly enhanced by his/her tp perceptibility – his/her skill or wits to detect subconsciously, the “soon-to-occur tp” and/or consciously, the expression of a [new] tp.

A tp may generally be seen to be faced with different phases, vis-à-vis, the activation, the acceptance and the expression (not taking into consideration in-between phases – most of which are subconscious, subliminal and somewhat spiritually influenced.  However, a tp is largely biologically influenced – thanks to the innate sex urge).

The intelligent awareness of the occurrence of any of the aforementioned phase(s) in either or both couples would greatly play a major role in decision making – much needed decisions whether to “ask for more”, and/or “to go for more” or not (i.e. to back off, to back down).  The making of decisions together with the conscious effort to act on the ‘made-decisions’ would basically determine whether the [2]decision maker would subject himself to the ideals of control – self-control and/or [3]mutual control or to the urges of “going all the way”, the ultimate craving of the sex urge!

Self-control is largely psychological.  The sex urge is largely physiologic.  Self-control always succeeds with an individual of increased knowledge, intelligence and spirituality.  The sex urge is basically unintelligent, merely biologic with little or no regards to love, ethics, goodwill…

Therefore, we may come up with some deductions necessary for the advancement of human civilization and culture.  Much needed deductions for the common good – utilitarian decisions-conclusions.

(1.)  Couples should take advantage of tp to enhance, stimulate and advance to more meaningful levels, their so-called “sex lives”!

(2.)  Reliance, as it were, on self-control and not the dictates of the sex urge is a guarantee for “good behavior”.  The mind should be encouraged to embrace the ideals of self-control.  The body should be made to listen and respond to the “orders” of restraint.  The head (brain) and the heart perforce, must work together to ensure “couple-control”.  “I beg, no rape anorda man dorta”!  (We are beseeched not to abuse sexuality.)  Always, the progressive, civilized call cries, “self-control!  Self-control!!  And more self-control!!!”


- O'karo E.K.D Akamune.

NB: The above is an introduction or an introductory phase of a research project on “The Sex Urge [su]”, the biologically innate propensity to propagate the species.
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[1] After-play – a la foreplay.
[2] Decision maker – this may be the tpss, the fr or both.
[3] Mutual control – or ‘couple-control’, ‘twain control’ – the control of self in conjunction with the attempted control of the second party; the realm of "self-control".


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